All I See Is Black.

I know you guys eb tithbi7oony! Marraaah I post chithy 8 posts eb youm wa7id, ou faj2a two weeks I dont post ..

Batcher: Theres One Coming Up.

Everyone remembers 6alal, who helped write posts, since I wanted to do something new, something diffrent, ena mu bs we get a girls point of view, but a guys.
After the summer holiday, 6alal disappeared. No phone calls, no bbms, actually I was deleted off of his list. I called his house countless times, and when his maids, hear my name they closed it on my face.

6alal is a family friend. He spent his days at our place more than anything. Why did he leave so suddenly. Why are all my calls being transfered to his voice mail? Why does his little sister close the phone eb wayhi.
My mom didnt have an answer. She would change the topic whenever his name was mentioned.

For months, I was angry, I waited for an answer, but no one gave it to me. And for every night that passed I promised my self that I would smack him the day I saw, and if anyone from his family dares calls I will bring hell on earth.

How stupid of me, I was lieing to myself.

March 29,2010 5:00pm
My phone viberated widely under my pillow as I took my daily siesta.
4 Missed Calls. Bleh,a weird number. As I was going to put my phone back under the pillow the number called again.

"Yes" I grumbled.
"WaayWaaay" a young girls voice. She choked back tears.
"Hayona?" I knew that voice very well, too well. It was 6alals little sister.
"WayWaay I miss you! Please" she burt into tears at this point.
"Hayona, shfech hun, Im here for you, shfeech ga3da tabcheen!" I tried comforting her. Even though I had a million questions to ask even though I promised my self to turn into a mad woman when I hear from them, I didnt. My cold heart, turned soft. The fire that burned in me, wasn't there anymore.

"WayWaay, 3ady we go to the free trade zone, i have a project to do, and I need your help. I dont know how to use a mac"
Men 9ejha, thats why she's calling me? Bs yalla I though, agdar as2lha things there.
"Elyoum tabeen ..?"
"Yes, let me ask my mom"
I heard mummbles but I made out some words from here mother and they were "Its about time she knows."
"I'll wait for you there" I told her.

I dressed up and ran down stairs, and before I can ask my mom she said 'Tabeny ayeey wiyach"

"Haw mama, tadreen wain baru7 u9lun?"

"Eee mama, mu 6al3a ma3a Haya bitu7oon el free trade zone?"

"Ee, bs i dont see why would you want to come.."

"Oh ya3ny .. " I gave her a weird look "Yallaah ru7ay its okay, have fun bs goulay 7ag el sayig yig3ad ma3ach etha okhwanich eb yi6li3oon ana a6ali3hum"

I was like "ok-aaaay" ou I grabbed my wallet, and blackberry and headed out.

I called the number that Haya called me from. After a few rings she picked up, "Hey ay cafe tabeen etru7enla?"

"Caribou!" she shrieked. "Btw, e7na warakum"

I looked back and noticed she was in 6alal's Range Rover. It was now tinted pitch black. My heart sank, was it him driving?

When we parked, his driver came down and salam 3ala our driver, I was disappointed, that it wasnt 6alal.

Then I saw, the baby girl I used to know has grown into a teenager. Wearing a juicy training suit, and had her beautiful black hair put back in a sleek pointy tail.
She ran to me and hugged me. And all i felt from her was pure sorrowness.

We sat down after ordering a drinks.
It was time "Why, 3gub all this time, el et9akreena eb wayhi, ou your nannĂ­es close the phone eb wayhi, ou everything simply everything do you call back?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "WaayWaay, the answer isnt with me, wait .. "

She slowly pushed her chair backwards and looked like she almost picked up her legs to head to whereever she was heading.

I was furious that I just looked the oppostie direction. I cuffed my face in my own hands when I smelled something familiar. I felt big hands over my shoulder.

I turned into a statue. Even my tears froze.

I slowly turned around.
6alal. My best friend, my soldier, my .. everything, was standing there.
But something wasn't right with his apperance. He was wearing RayBans ou kan thalma.

Seconds later, I got up, I dont know how I managed to stand on my feet but I did. And he didnt even look at my direction. He had his head hanging down, focused on where I was sitting. Haya right next to him.

And thats when I broke down. In hysterics, I cried.
"3gub sheno? 3gub ma you leave without a trace? 3gub nights of leaving countless voicemails?! 3GUB WHAT 6ALAL? You were part of MY FAMILY! Part of my LIFE! Then you just walk away? Your a fucking jerk tadry. I hope you do and just incase you didnt get that awal mara, khalny a3eedha, A FUCKING JERK!!" A couple who were meeting up next to us freaked out. And 6alal kept looking around, moving his hands to find something to touch.
"Im sorry Haya, but mithil ma sawaitaw feny kelekum, I have to walk away. Salmay 3ala oumich." I grabbed my stuff, and ran to the car. The drivers saw me crying, and they both ran right past me to 6alal.

"Sir sir dont fall!" they screamed from the top of their lungs.

He looked stumbled over the chairs, and got himself up. He was almost going to fall off the 2 steps. Chena he didnt see them.

Haya ran to me. "You dont get it Waay Waaay!" She pulled me with all her force towards 6alal as she cried a river. "6ALAL IS BLIND!"

I could have swore that the devil kicked my right in the stomache. I couldnt breathe.

"WaayWaay" he finally spoke. His voice was a drug that I longed for.

"Dubai, eb Dubai .. " And I saw a tear move down those glasses.

And then I remembered, it was the first family gathering we had, when everyone was talking about an accident that took place in Dubai during the break, in which the Kuwaitis were badly injured.

I didnt want him to say anything. It wasnt worth recalling this stupid incident.
Without thinking about anything, I hugged him. I hugged him tight, I hugged him for as long as I can.

We sat back down. And they told me the story. Just as I was about to let out a tear he said "Dont you dare let that tear escape those eyes WaayWayy, Hatha allaah ely katba"

I asked all the W's Questions.
Why: "Ma kent aby afashlich, I was a disgrace."

I was so upset that he would think of himself that way. His perfectly shaven saksuka, his short hair. I prayed that it was April Fools.

It wasnt. It was a pure kick in the ass of reality.

The last words I told him before we left were "Im always going to be here. No matter how you are." I helped him get up, and get intto the car.

I went back home stoned. My mom didnt ask me a question as I went back up to my room. I didnt turn on the lights. I layed in the dark. Made my way around my room. For three hours I tried to live the life of a blind person. The cuts I have on my knees and bloody toes explain it all. Not that Im messy, and have things thrown all over the place, but with all the sharp edges, that I relied on my eyesight to guide me I wasnt able to get through.. It was impossible. Imagine that one gift we take for granted is taken away. So suddenly ..

I promised myseld I wasnt going to cry. But I was going to help him, though it all. No matter how much of my time and energy it was going to take.

It wasnt until today, that I found out that there was a doctor, from Germany who was in Kuwait, that was going to look over 6alal's case.
Im going to every appointment with him. I wasnt there for him all this time, I was going to be there for the rest. 6alal I know Haya is going to read you this, and Im sorry for everything. My tongue was tied back then. It still his around you. I cant apologize. I cant say much. I love you though please understand that.

Im not saying this because we've found a doctor, Im saying this because even if things dont work out, I want to assure you that I will ALWAYS be there no matter what.


4 comments:

Exposed Insanity said...

7ayatyy..
alla yashfeee ya rab
i know how u feel..
atleast u have him ow al7een u knoww el 7mdella and u can work things
5allay emanch eb rabbich qawe ya rab
u got my prayers.
a bestfriend of mine died jdamy it was shitty ..
o take good care of urself and him
its a great way of expressing how u feel through writing..
we're all here for u

xoxo
Bella

WaayWaay said...

Bella:*
Wallaah el 3atheem ma tadreen sheno that meant to me. And with you being here, I'll have the faith to take care of him enshallah!

And Ive lost too many people that are close to me. Bs infront of me? I dont know what would have happend to me. 3ady a hit the core of insanity. You must be really strong mashallah.

Ou Thankyou, Wallaah men galb.
I love how you always help out..
Again thank you:*

Exposed Insanity said...

7yatyy
Im Always here if u need to talk ;*
Alla yashfeee
walla im prayin for u guys ;*
alla yashfee il jamee3.
all u need to do is be strong adre its hard,,,, bas he needs u the most
o dun say thank you ;@
mako thank you baina sis;*

xoxo
Bella

Stubby said...

Way-waay!
My baby shlonich? I miss you, I miss 6alal..

Thayagtay 5ilgi honestly, I literally cried my eyes out after reading this, ma estaw3abt min il bedaya but when it hit me I just couldnt help it. I wanna clarify something though, ma bechait cuz i feel "sorry" for 6alol, and if Haya is reading this to him, plz gouleela Stubby cried her eyes out because you thought you werent good enough because of this, 6alol never think of urself this way, I barely know you ou dashait galbi ib digayig, ur a good person, and ur worth so much, SO MUCH 6alal I'm serious.. Inshallah allah yshafeek o tityasar ma3ak because u deserve it okay hun? Plz smile, SMILE! Yallaaa... yalla? Eeee chithy! And keep ur face that way! I love u!

Wayway 7ayati I miss u so much its not even funny! Amantich, stay by 6alal's side cuz he needs someone like you, o be as strong as a rock 3ashan he can lean on you as much as he needs to! I love u baby o u can email me at delusionalspace@hotmail.com itha ba'3aitay ayshay ok luv?

Take care you guys a7ebkum wayed wayed wayed!

Stubby ;**

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